Title: Happily Wishing on True Love's Kiss or Something
Characters: Cinema Snob, Spoony, Linkara, Harvey Finevoice, Nostalgia Chick, Nella, Maven of the Eventide, Paw, Margaret
Summary: The day of his 18th birthday, Princess Spoony flees the celebration, and the princes hoping to woo him, and curses the world for having caused him so much suffering. After crossing paths with an eccentric seafaring crew, which includes one Prince Linkara, Spoony starts to learn that there's much more to the world than he ever could have imagined. A Disney-style tale of adventure, betrayal, and love.
Genre: Adventure, Romance, Comedy, Tragedy
Warnings: Language, Blood, Character Death, Angst, Attempted Murder
Word Count: 17,619
“The prince and princess both agreed to continue on the journey together and soon began to learn more about each other.”
Spoony dangled his legs over the side of the ship, gazing down idly at the deep blue waters below. He had been out on the sea before but had never taken the time to appreciate how beautiful the ocean could be. He had also never taken the time to appreciate how much effort was necessary for such a voyage to succeed. All around him people scurried about cleaning the deck, pulling up nets filled with fish, shouting out nautical terms, and filling out log books with data about the journey. Everyone worked hard, but they didn’t complain about it; in fact, Spoony was shocked to see just how happy the crew seemed to be as they performed their jobs, not to mention how eager they were to assist each other when asked.
“Mind giving me a hand with these lines?”
“Aye! My knot-work has improved vastly since the last time we set sail!”
“Oi, can someone help me tie down these barrels?”
“I’m coming, lad!”
“Wow,” Spoony murmured. “Everyone here is so friendly and helpful.”
“But of course, your highness!” Spoony jumped at the sudden appearance of a young man who carried an accordion and wore a set of protective coverings over his ears. “What kind of a crew would we be if we were to turn on each other like scurvy dogs?”
“Geez, what is with these people and sneaking up on me?” Spoony grumbled under his breath before he stood up and offered a weak smile to the man. “I’m sorry if I offended you. I’m just a little surprised, I guess. You all seem so happy and close to each other… I just wasn’t expecting that.”
“Aye, ‘tis true. We may be a ragtag bunch, but we’re like family,” he replied. “We’ve been on many an adventure together throughout the years and there ain’t none of us that wouldn’t risk our life to help out a fellow crew mate.”
“That’s really great. Of course a good crew would be loyal and would know how to cooperate without issue. I shouldn’t be surprised by that.”
“And yet, it seems ye are,” the man replied. “Are ye not used to being around people who appreciate the meaning of hard work, your highness?”
“You can just call me Spoony,” Spoony replied, partly wishing he had kept his official title a secret from the others. “As to your question, well, yeah, I’m not used to that at all. Where I’m from people are more concerned with lining their pockets and flaunting their wealth more than anything else.”
“Sounds like a sad life indeed,” the man sympathized. “Shall ol’ Paw cheer ye up with a song?”
“Uh, no, that’s really okay.”
“Tisn’t a bother at all!” Paw insisted as he began to squeeze away on his accordion. “Oh I’ll sing you a song of a crew most loyal, working hard to serve a boy most royal-”
Spoony wasted no time in slapping his hand over Paw’s mouth. “No offense, but can we save the singing for later? I, uh, have a headache right now.” He didn’t enjoy lying to the people who had so graciously taken him in, but he enjoyed hearing sea chanties even less.
“As you wish, your highness. My apologies,” Paw said with a quick bow. Spoony sighed but decided not to press the issue. Instead, he swept his gaze across the deck and spotted a familiar figure near the stern of the ship.
Linkara was standing there, looking tired and sweaty but also very determined, while Madam Chick, who stood opposite him, sent small bursts of energy from her wand at him every so often. Whenever she did, Linkara would recite a spell which deflected the blasts and protected him from harm. They’d been practicing together for almost an hour, and Spoony wondered how long the prince could last against her.
“So, uh, you said you’ve been a part of this crew for a long time, right Mr. Paw?”
“Aye, that I have!” Paw said with a nod. “Is there something ye wish to know about the crew after all?” He raised his accordion hopefully and Spoony rolled his eyes.
“Not about the crew. Just… about him.” His eyes briefly darted to Linkara.
“Aw, the young prince. ‘Tis not surprising that ye be interested,” Paw said with a bit of a smug look. Spoony scowled and crossed his arms, hoping the heat in his cheeks was only a result of being out in the sun all morning.
“I’m not interested, I’m just… naturally curious. I mean, it’s not every day you run into a prince who’s travelling with a band of weirdoes as he heads out on a voyage to some freaky magical island.”
Paw threw back his head and laughed. “Ye tell the truth, fair princess. Aye, Prince Linkara is not your average prince, though how could he be after living through what he did.”
Spoony’s expression softened. “What happened?”
“Many years ago, the King and Queen of Comicronia lived happy, peaceful lives,” Paw began, dropping his pirate cadence for a more serious tone, much to Spoony’s relief. “They were kind and just rulers, who loved their people and were beloved by them in turn. However, they were also practitioners of magic, a skill known by few since it can be deadly in the wrong hands. Luckily the King and Queen had the guidance of Captain Finevoice and Madam Chick, their most trusted advisers, and for a long time their lands were prosperous and protected thanks to their impressive abilities. Then, one night, a great tragedy occurred.”
Paw’s voice softened then and grew solemn. “A terrible magical fire made of purple flames erupted inside the village. The blaze was so strong and spread so quickly that only the most powerful of spells were capable of quelling its heat. The King and Queen, with no thought to their own safety, rushed out into the night to help protect their citizens, while directing their advisers to watch over their young son. At first, it seemed as if their efforts were working, since most of the flames were extinguished without causing major injury to anyone, but then all of a sudden the castle itself burst into flames.”
“What happened to Linkara?” Spoony asked, his eyes now locked on the man.
“He had been taken out of the castle before the fire started, thank the gods, but the King and Queen weren’t aware of this. They rushed back inside looking for him and…”
Paw lowered his head and Spoony’s stomach dropped.
“That… that’s fucking awful. I can’t believe he had to go through that.”
“You’re in a chatty mood today, ain’t ya Paw?”
Both men jumped at the sudden presence of Captain Finevoice before Paw pressed his hands together in apology.
“I’m sorry, Captain! I got a bit carried away.”
“It’s okay. We all tend to lose our heads when we think of that night. Why don’t you go and see if Chef Nella needs a hand in the kitchen.”
“Aye aye, sir!”
Paw quickly scampered off, leaving a nervous Spoony to face the captain on his own. “I’m really sorry too. I didn’t mean to be so damn nosy… well yes, I did, but it wasn’t right and I swear I won’t mention that I know any of this to Linkara.”
Captain Finevoice stared at Spoony until the latter started fidgeting, before he let out a small smile. “Curious, honest, brave… there’s a lot to appreciate about you, princess.”
Spoony blushed at the compliment. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, nothing, just the ramblings of an old man. Anyway, I won’t fault you for what happened, but just make sure that the next time you start asking questions, you ask ‘em to the right person.”
“Got it,” Spoony agreed.
“Good. Now, onto the next order of business. I sent a message to your parents letting ‘em know you were here and safe from harm.”
Spoony grimaced and tugged anxiously on a lock of hair. “I’m sure they were pissed and demanded I come home as soon as possible.”
The captain’s grin widened. “Actually they were thrilled to hear that you had accepted an offer to travel with the charming and single Prince Linkara, and said to keep you here until the wedding invitations had been sent out.”
Spoony’s jaw dropped and his entire face heated up. “They said what?! Those fucking-I never accepted-and who said anything about a wedding?!”
“Hey now, calm down.” He patted Spoony’s shoulder gently. “At least now you have some time to yourself and you don’t have to worry about running away from potential suitors. As long as you’re with the Kid, you’re as free as a bird.”
“Yeah, but how long will that last?” Spoony glumly asked.
The captain’s eyes twinkled. “It might be longer than you expect.”
“Never mind. Here.” He handed Spoony a clay jug filled with water. “Why don’t you bring this to the Kid. He looks like he could use a break.”
“Sure, I can do that.” Happy to be able to help, and to be escaping from those twinkly eyes which somehow seemed capable of looking right through him, Spoony hurried over to Linkara. “Hey! You thirsty?”
Linkara smiled over at his approach “You bet! I could-ah!” He cried out as a small ball of blue light bounced off his shoulder.
“You should only be paying attention to me when we’re training, young prince,” Chick scolded.
“Sorry, Madam Chick. Is it okay if I take a break now? We’ve been doing this for a while and I’m really thirsty.”
Chick pursed her lips. “I suppose that’s fine.”
Linkara turned back to Spoony then and gratefully accepted the jug. “Thanks a lot. I was dying out here.”
“You looked fine from where I was standing,” Spoony remarked as the other man drank.
Linkara’s brows rose at these words and his smile grew shy. “Were you watching me?”
“N-not the whole time,” Spoony stuttered, distracted for some reason by the prince’s expression. “Just long enough to tell that you’re really something when it comes to this magical shit.”
“Thanks. I’ve been working to improve my skills for a long time now.” Linkara set the half-empty jug down and picked up his book once again. “But I still have a long way to go before I’m powerful enough to protect a kingdom.”
Spoony wasn’t used to feeling admiration for anyone; it elicited a strange smile and pleasing squirm of his stomach that he wouldn’t have minded feeling again. “You really are a prince, aren’t you?”
Linkara laughed. “You keep saying that like you’re surprised. Haven’t you met princes like me before?”
Spoony took a step closer to him without realizing it. “I’ve never met anyone like you before.”
“Ahem.” Both boys flinched and Spoony took several steps backwards to escape Chick’s stern gaze. “Sorry to interrupt but I believe we weren’t finished yet, young prince.”
“Right. Sorry, Madam Chick.” Linkara turned to Spoony with an apologetic look. “I hope we can talk again later. I should be finished before Chef Nella is ready to serve her squid surprise, so do you mind waiting a bit?”
“That’s fine,” Spoony said before he climbed on top of a nearby barrel. “Mind if I watch from up close this time?”
Linkara’s shy smile returned. “You’re really interested in watching? Well sure, we have no problem with that!”
Chick’s expression said otherwise. “It is rather dangerous to be so close to magic when you aren’t a practitioner, young princess. Wouldn’t you rather retreat to a safe area and, oh, prepare for your departure? We should be arriving at an island which can transport you home within an hour.”
“Actually, I’m staying,” Spoony announced, much to Linkara’s delight. “My folks said I could spend as much time as I wanted here, so you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future!”
“Awesome!” Linkara replied.
“Yes, it’s ever so awesome,” Chick muttered under her breath, her eyes flashing darkly for a moment. Then her calm demeanor returned and she focused her attention on Linkara. “We’re going to take things to the next level, young prince, so I hope you’re prepared.”
Linkara shared a quick grin with Spoony. “Hit me with your best shot.”
“The prince’s magic grew more powerful than ever once he had the princess for an audience. Magic, you see, is a force that is powered by strong emotions. Rage, despair, fear, and joy can create spells of indescribable power, although no spell is stronger than one fueled by love…”
“Come on, we’re almost there!” Linkara glanced over his shoulder, making certain that Spoony was still following along after him, before he continued to run through the lush jungle.
“I’ve never seen anyone so excited about being on a deserted island before,” Spoony mumbled as he jogged a little less enthusiastically after him.
“Just because there aren’t any people here doesn’t mean this place is deserted,” Linkara called back.
“How the fuck do you always manage to hear me?” Despite his words, Spoony was more amused than annoyed, something which happened more often than not when it came to Linkara. There was something about him which was warm and inviting, something which drew Spoony toward him in spite of his instincts to run every time Linkara flashed that innocent smile in his direction.
But Spoony, who was tired of running, always continued forward without hesitation, and even if it took him a little longer to accomplish, always managed to find his way.
“Alright, alright, I’m here,” he said, rubbing at a dull pain which had developed in his left side. “Fucking exercise. This had better be worth it…”
Spoony trailed off when he realized that Linkara was surrounded by beautiful balls of light. They shone every hue of the rainbow and nuzzled against his cheeks and arms lovingly, causing the prince to giggle a bit.
“They’re called Rainbow Fireflies,” he explained, taking a step closer so Spoony could get a better look. “They glow a different color every day, and every night they light up the sky brighter than any fireworks ever could.”
“Wow…” Spoony reached out tentatively and poked a few insects with his finger, enjoying how warm and soft they felt. “How did you manage to find so many of them?”
“I used an attraction spell that would draw them towards me. I didn’t think it would work this well though,” Linkara admitted, laughing louder now that a few fireflies were dancing along the neckline of his tunic. Without thinking, Spoony reached out to brush them away, not realizing when his fingertips caused goosebumps to rise along Linkara’s neck.
“That must mean your magic is even more powerful than before, Linkara. Shit, how does magic even work anyway?”
“It has to do with connecting to the world of spirits,” Linkara explained. “If you study hard and allow yourself to believe with all your heart, your connection grows stronger and the spirits allow you to borrow their power in the form of spells.”
“Incredible… I wish I could use magic too,” Spoony admitted. “Even though I’d be nothing compared to you, it would still be pretty damn sweet.”
“That’s not true,” Linkara denied.
“Sure it is. Hell, I bet you could even take on the captain at your level.”
Linkara laughed. “Thanks, but I don’t think anyone could ever defeat Harvey.”
Spoony opened his hand and allowed a few pale blue bugs to land on his palm. “I never would have expected to see something so beautiful on a crappy little island like this.”
“There are beautiful, wonderful things all around us, Spoony,” Linkara replied softly. “We just have to keep looking for them.”
Spoony glanced up to find Linkara was closer than ever and gazing intently into his eyes. He swallowed a bit thickly, his throat having gone dry, and found himself leaning forward inch by inch…
Only to suddenly pull back when another flurry of fireflies flocked to Linkara like flies to honey.
“Ahh what the hell!” Linkara cried, running around in panicked circles as the colorful insects chased after him.
“How fucking strong was that summoning spell?” Spoony cried, wishing very strongly that he could grind every firefly into a fine powder of dust.
“I don’t know, I’ve never tried it before today! Crap, Spoony, they’re not letting up!”
“Quick, jump into the water! Fireflies won’t follow you if you dive into water!”
“That’s bees, Spoony! And that fact has been debunked as pure myth-”
“Would you just shut up and try it already?”
“The prince took an impromptu swim that day while the princess watched in amusement, and frustration, from the shore. However, he wasn’t the only person who had his eyes on the prince…”
Protruding from a porthole located on the starboard side of the Swing, Baby was a bronze telescope which had been enhanced by magic and allowed its user to see farther than any normal telescope. Currently this telescope was focused on Spoony and Linkara, who were both splashing around in the water as they tried to fight off a firefly infestation, before it was retracted by its owner and neatly stored in the corner of the room.
“This isn’t good, Maven.”
Maven looked up from the stuffed crow she had been petting in confusion. “What isn’t good, Chick?”
“That princess. That damned princess is ruining everything I’ve worked for.” Chick clenched her wand in her hands tightly enough to risk breaking it and started to pace across the room. “He’s only been here a few weeks but he’s already made the prince strong, much too strong for my liking.”
“Oh come on, Chick, it’s not like the prince is any match for you anyway,” Maven replied.
“Not now he isn’t, but if his growth continues at this speed, he might be able to take me on… no, that can’t happen. That won’t happen.” Chick stopped in her tracks. “I’ve worked too hard and for too long to have it all ruined now. The kingdom of Comicronia will be mine and no grizzled sea captain, do-gooder prince, or bitchy princess will stop me! But I have to act soon or else this will have all been for naught. That princess is certain to be joining us on our journey tomorrow, so I must not allow her to interfere any further.” She turned sharply to Maven. “Have you prepared what I asked you for?”
“Yes, Chick, I have it right here.” Maven held up a rolled piece of parchment. “But I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do with a fake map of Awesome Island?”
“Just keep it on you for now,” Chick commanded. “We will be arriving there tomorrow and that’s when I will be relying on you. Or should I say… that’s when Captain Finevoice will be relying on you.”
She threw back her head then and let out a loud, maniacal laugh cold enough to make Maven shiver.
“Perhaps I should have taken that job at the fishmonger’s after all.”
- Happily Wishing on True Love's Kiss or Something: Part 2