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Brad says "What?"
Another story for the fillathon! It's for this prompt, which asks for Critic/Film Brain/Spoony. I've never written that threesome before so I gave it a try, focusing mostly on humor and smut. I also took some liberties with how reviews are written and filmed but it was all in the name of sexy times so I hope no one is too bothered, lol. I also hope the original prompter sees and enjoys! :)

Film Brain typed eagerly on his laptop, wanting to be certain every word of his script was perfect. Usually when he was in a hotel room, he’d be overcome with a sense of laziness and focus more on relaxing instead of working, but tonight was a very different night from most. It was the night before Film Brain’s big crossover with the Nostalgia Critic, the one he’d been dreaming of ever since he first decided to become a movie critic.

In twelve short hours he would be sitting in Critic’s house creating a review with not just him but, to his utter shock and delight, the Spoony One as well, who was going to provide a cameo.  Film Brain could barely believe this was happening to him. Critic and Spoony were two of the reviewers he admired most, in terms of creativity, comedic ability, and handsomeness, if he were being truly honest. That was why he had to make sure this script was nothing short of utter genius.

Just as he’d finished typing, a knock on the hotel room door drew Film Brain’s attention. He quickly opened it and gaped out in shock at his future co-reviewers’ smiling faces.

“Critic? Spoony? What are you doing here?”

“We just dropped by to see how you were,” Spoony replied, entering the room without bothering to wait for an invitation.

“You feel ready for tomorrow?” Critic asked, also stepping through the door.

Film Brain nodded. “Oh yes. I was just about ready to go over the script before I emailed it to you, Critic.”

Spoony unceremoniously flopped down onto Film Brain’s bed and tilted the laptop toward him. “Hmm, uh huh, I see…”

“Oh, I-I haven’t edited it yet,” Film Brian told him, a bit nervous about having his writing looked at so suddenly, but he calmed down once Critic slid an arm around his shoulders.

“Hey, relax. I’m sure it looks great,” Critic said with a smile. “I wouldn’t have pawned off all the work on you if I didn’t believe in your abilities, you know.”

“Thanks,” Film Brain replied, blushing softly and trying not to tremble under the touch of the man he admired so greatly.

“Alright, I think it’s time to get down to business.” Spoony sharply closed the laptop and tossed it into a chair before he turned back to Film Brain, his grin suddenly seductive. “How should we begin tonight’s activities?”

Film Brain blinked a few times in confusion. “Activities? What do you mean?”

Spoony let out a snort of laughter. “Have you forgotten already? It hasn’t been that long for you, has it?”

“Would you stop beating around the bush and just be direct with him?” Critic asked with a roll of his eyes. “He means crossover tradition, Film Brain. When two or more producers do a crossover, they seal the deal before filming for good luck. And sometimes again after filming, if they’re feeling really horny.”

“W-what?” Film Brain’s whole face grew red. “I thought that was just a rumor.”

“So this is your first time?” Spoony waggled his eyebrows at the Brit. “Then you are in for a treat, because I am about to rock your world.”

“You’re serious about this?” Film Brain asked, looking up to Critic in disbelief.

“Hell yes,” Critic replied, still smiling. “Who wouldn’t jump at the chance of a threesome with two of his closest friends? …On second thought, don’t answer that.”

“Come on, Film Brain, don’t chicken out on a dream-come-true scenario,” Spoony teased as he patted the spot on the bed beside him invitingly. “We’ve both heard extensively about the man-crushes you have on us. Wouldn’t you like to be the meat in our love sandwich?”

“Oh good lord.” Film Brain buried his face in his hands, which just caused the others to laugh.

“God, he’s cute.”

“I know. That’s why I want to corrupt his virginal little ass.”

“I am not a virgin!” More laughter followed. “Fine, I’ll prove it!” Film Brain turned and lunged at Critic, knocking him onto the bed as he kissed him fiercely. Critic quickly responded, wrapping his arms around the Brit as he rolled over so he could lie on top of him.

“Mmmm, fuck… you’re a good kisser.”

Film Brain grinned. “I know.” They continued to make out for a while, slowly grinding against each other, while Spoony watched until his boredom reached its peak.

“Hey, I’m in the crossover too,” he whined before shoving Critic away. “Let me in on this.” Film Brain chuckled and pulled Spoony close for a kissing session of his own, but it wasn’t long before Critic elbowed him out of the way.

“You’re just a cameo, Spoony. That means you get limited time in the video and in the threesome!”

“Fuck you, Critic! You know once the audiences see that I’m in the video, they’ll only talk about me and forget all about your ugly ass!”

“Hey! My ass is fucking beautiful compared to yours!”

“Boys, boys!” Film Brain finally interrupted. He shot them both a seductive look before lifting his shirt over his head and tossing it away. “There’s enough of me for both of you.”

Spoony and Critic shared a grin before lunging. In no time at all the three of them were undressed and writhing against each other, Critic’s lips creating possessive marks along Film Brain’s neck, Spoony’s fingers teasing Film Brain’s ass cheeks, while Film Brain did his best to keep from letting the sensations get the best of him too quickly.

“I’ve never seen someone so pale,” Spoony murmured as he rubbed one finger along Film Brain’s entrance. “It’s like I’m getting ready to fuck a porcelain doll.”

“Ahh… y-you’re one to talk,” Film Brain replied before he let out a sharp cry as Critic’s teeth grazed his nipple.

“I knew you’d like that,” Critic said, look exceptionally proud of himself. “It won’t be long until you’re screaming my name so loudly the front desk calls to complain.”

“Trust me, he’ll be screaming my name,” Spoony declared, shooting Critic a determined look. Critic readily returned it.

“Want to see who can make him cum first?”

“You’re on!”

“Ahh!” Film Brain’s mind was soon swallowed by the different sensations of pleasure his body experienced. First it was Critic’s mouth, so warm and went as it enveloped his cock, his tongue gliding along the shaft and teasing him to orgasm; then it was Spoony’s cock pushing deep inside him, pressing against that spot which made Film Brain cry out for more, filling him up so completely that he could no longer think nor see nor hear; all he could do was feel, feel warm and happy and desired and loved.

“Ohh yes!”

Once he’d exploded, Film Brain’s exhausted and sweat-soaked body trembled as he gasped for breath. He could scarcely manage to see, his vision having gone white during his loss of control, but once shapes and colors came back into focus, he realized Spoony and Critic were smiling at each other.

“Fuck. I lost.”

“Me too.”

“Oh well.”

The two lay back down and pulled Film Brain in between them, wrapping their arms protectively around his shivering form. Film Brain’s heartbeat soon began to slow as he pressed his head against Critic’s chest, and he sighed when Spoony placed soft kisses along his shoulders and back.

“That was… amazing…”

“Yeah, we are pretty amazing guys.”

“But so are you, Film Brain.”

Film Brain sent a wordless look of thanks to both of them and felt for the first time in his life like he truly was a part of something.

“So,” Spoony suddenly said, “about that script of yours. What would it take for you to make my part a little bigger?”

“Probably a part of your body which also needs to be a little bigger,” Critic snarked, earning a scowl from Spoony.

“Mine’s bigger than yours, fuck-face!”

“Prove it! Film Brain, you judge!”

In the end, Film Brain wrote a much bigger part for Spoony and Critic sulked for days afterwards.

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Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D

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